What is a secret: Something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others.
You never keep a secret about an ouch touch or a private touch, even if the person tells me they will hurt me, or someone close to me. I still need to tell someone close to me who can help me stay safe.
There are two types secrets: a safe secret and an unsafe secret.
Example of a safe secret: If I told your teacher I was baking your class chocolate chip cookies and asked them to keep it a secret. This is a safe secret because no one is getting hurt in the scenario. It’s safe for your teacher to keep and if the teacher wants to tell she can, and it won’t hurt anyone.
Example of an unsafe secret: If you were having a shower and a family member comes into the bathroom and strips naked and comes into the shower with you. Maybe they start touching your bathing suit area. They then tell you that it’s our little secret and if you tell, I will take away your phone and I will hurt you if you tell. This is an unsafe secret for many reasons.
First of all, no one should be touching you anywhere, especially in your bathing suit area. No one should be saying it’s our secret when they touch you like that, and you have the right to say no and the right to your privacy. This type of secret you need to tell, no matter what the person says. Most likely they will not hurt you if you tell the right people right away.
I know and I understand that it’s hard to tell an adult that someone has touched you and gave you an unsafe secret, but in this kind of situation, you need to tell right away. Sometimes we might not be able to tell right away. You may need to take a couple days to get the courage to tell, but you need to tell sooner rather than later so that we can help you.
Make sure you find someone who will believe you and who can get you help. Here at CASASC, we will always believe you. Call, text or webchat with us on our help line and we can help you.
Next week we will be talking about our safety network, the people that you trust and who you can tell.