Body Boundaries: No Secrets Mini-edu Session

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Today I am going to be talking about body boundaries; what it means and how to help yourself and others learn about yours and their body “bubble.”

  • A body boundary is an invisible and personal set of rules that define what is a ‘good’ touch and a ‘bad’ touch and the types and amount of touching the child is comfortable with. These boundaries are important because they help with defining the ‘self’.

We all have a body bubble and most of the time we are not aware how big out bubble is. Some people’s body bubble is big and if you’re across the room from them, we still may be in their space. Some people have smaller bubbles where you can come close to them and they are not bothered.

Your bubble changes with every situation that you are in. For example, when you are sitting in your desk at school, your bubble has to be a bit smaller to accommodate the class size and other desks. But when you are standing up and going to the library, your bubble will get a bit bigger. If someone in the hall runs up to you and gives you a hug without asking, they popped your bubble and you may have felt very uncomfortable that that person has broken your personal bubble. Sometimes we don’t even realize we have moved into someone’s space.

The great thing about this is if someone is looking uncomfortable around you, or you’re in their space but they haven’t said anything, their body may be telling you to leave their space. There are a few signals you can look for. They may be red in the face, make no eye contact, their body is moving away from you, they are quiet or nervous, maybe an awkward laugh comes out.

As humans, we have to take queues from people’s body language as well as their words. There are people out there that cannot communicate verbally, and they have to rely on their body language to get by. So, as teachers and parents, we have to teach students how to read body language

I want everyone to know, you have the right to your body and nobody else. You have the right to say no to someone coming into your personal space. You are allowed to explain that you have a body bubble. “My Body is My body and Nobody else’s”

This bring me back to our safe and unsafe touches. No one is allowed to touch you. Remember your body is your body.

Here at CASASC, we will always believe you. Call, text or webchat with us on our help line and we can help you.

Help line:
1-866-956-1099

Next week we will be talking body parts.

Safety Network: No Secrets Mini-edu Session

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Today I am going to be talking to you about what a safety network is and how we can have one in our circle. Everyone needs a safety network in their life. It may not make be obvious until we are in need of it and those people. Adults have them and kids of all ages need to have one too. Today I am going to teach you about how to build a safety network.

A safety network is a group of people that you can trust and go to, whatever the situation is. They will not judge you and they will get the help that you need right away.

I am going to give you three categories of safety networks. I say three because three is a good number to remember but if you have more, you can add them as you go.

What I like to do in my classroom is to have everyone close their eyes and put their heads down. First, I want everyone to take a big belly breath in and out and get relaxed. If there is nothing you take away from this, I would tell you this is what I want you to take away:

First, I want you to think of someone who is safe and trusted in your FAMILY.

This does not always mean mom and dad because sometimes mom and dad are not always our trusted person. Maybe it’s an older cousin, grandma or grandpa, an auntie or uncle or an older sibling. This person is someone who you can go to for anything.

Second, I want you to think of someone who is safe and trusted at SCHOOL. An adult at school that you can go to and they will believe you if you told them something uncomfortable. If you don’t have a trusted adult at school maybe, it’s your best friend BUT this friend has to be able to be brave and go and tell an adult for you. I say an adult because they can get you the proper help that you need.

Lastly, I want you to think of someone who is safe and trusted in your COMMUNITY. Remember this person needs to be trusted to you and to others. Think of community helpers like the police, fire, ambulance, coaches or doctors.

With a safety network, it’s important to remember that sometimes the person we choose for one, may not always believe us. For example, if you choose your grandpa and he did not believe you, do you stop telling? No, you go to the next person and if that person does not believe you, you keep going in your network until someone believes you. Sometimes you have to tell your story more than once for someone to believe you. I promise you that where I work, we will always believe you if you tell us someone is hurting you or someone around you.

Please make sure in your safety network that the people that you have are trusted and will help in any way they can. You can have more than one person in each category to make sure if you need to go back to that categories you have someone else to tell.

Here at CASASC, we will always believe you. Call, text or webchat with us on our help line and we can help you.

Help line:
1-866-956-1099

Next week we will be talking about body boundaries.

Safe and Unsafe Secrets: No Secrets Mini-edu Session

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What is a secret: Something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others.

You never keep a secret about an ouch touch or a private touch, even if the person tells me they will hurt me, or someone close to me. I still need to tell someone close to me who can help me stay safe.

There are two types secrets: a safe secret and an unsafe secret.

Example of a safe secret: If I told your teacher I was baking your class chocolate chip cookies and asked them to keep it a secret. This is a safe secret because no one is getting hurt in the scenario. It’s safe for your teacher to keep and if the teacher wants to tell she can, and it won’t hurt anyone.

Example of an unsafe secret: If you were having a shower and a family member comes into the bathroom and strips naked and comes into the shower with you. Maybe they start touching your bathing suit area. They then tell you that it’s our little secret and if you tell, I will take away your phone and I will hurt you if you tell. This is an unsafe secret for many reasons.

First of all, no one should be touching you anywhere, especially in your bathing suit area. No one should be saying it’s our secret when they touch you like that, and you have the right to say no and the right to your privacy. This type of secret you need to tell, no matter what the person says. Most likely they will not hurt you if you tell the right people right away.

I know and I understand that it’s hard to tell an adult that someone has touched you and gave you an unsafe secret, but in this kind of situation, you need to tell right away. Sometimes we might not be able to tell right away. You may need to take a couple days to get the courage to tell, but you need to tell sooner rather than later so that we can help you.

Make sure you find someone who will believe you and who can get you help. Here at CASASC, we will always believe you. Call, text or webchat with us on our help line and we can help you.

Help line:
1-866-956-1099

Next week we will be talking about our safety network, the people that you trust and who you can tell.

 

Safe and Unsafe Touches: No Secrets Mini-edu Session

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This is a weekly educational series we are launching for parents, educators + caregivers to help keep our kids safe. The following info is provided from Bailey of our No Secrets education team. While this would be typically be presented in the classroom, we have adapted it for social media purposes:

Safe and Unsafe Touches

Today we are going talk about safe and unsafe touches.
You’re the boss of your body and you can decide who and when someone can or cannot touch you. Your body is your body and no body’s else.

There are three types of touches that I am going to be talking about today:
-Safe touch
-Ouch touch
-Private touch

Safe Touch: A safe touch is a touch that is wanted and fun. We like to give and receive these types of touches. Even with these types of touches, we still need to ask first.

Examples of safe touches:
o High five
o Fist pump
o Hug
o Handshake

Ouch Touch: An ouch touch is a touch that is unwanted and hurts. Unfortunately everyone has received an ouch touch at some point in their life. Think before you act.

Examples of Ouch touches:
o Slapping
o Pushing
o Biting
o Hair pulling

Private Touch: A private touch are touches to your private parts (Bathing suit area). This touch is unwanted and is bad. No one should be touching your private parts.

Examples of private touch:
o Breast
o Vagina
o Penis

The only person that is allowed to look and or touch to keep you healthy is your doctor. Your doctor has to ask first to look and to touch. If you are younger than 16 sometimes you have to have an older adult in the room with you. But its ok to ask for privacy.

Three-word rule:
No one should look at
No one should touch
and
No one should take a picture of your private parts.

Remember your body is your body and no one else’s. No one should come up to you and touch you unsafely without your consent. Even when someone wants a hug they still have to ask or their body language will ask for them. Please respect your body and everyone else’s body around you.

Next week we are going to talk about safe and unsafe secrets.

*Images from book Bailey uses in the classroom