Tag Archive for: OYMY

Consent – A short, yet impactful word

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By Kailee Burkinshaw

Consent – A short, yet impactful word

What is one of the first things you think of when you hear the word “consent?”

Is it the term “no means no?” What about consent or permission forms from when you were in school? Or when it involves social movements such as the #MeToo hashtag? Consent can be all of these things and more.

Consent is a term that has always been around, but it may not have been as widely talked about as it appears to be now in our news, media, classrooms or virtual worlds. This is why it is important to understand consent and what it involves. Knowing more about consent creates a more informed, respectful and safe world, for reasons this blog post will discuss.

When someone is talking about consent, it begins as an agreement between two people or groups that they want to do something together. Everyone can say “yes” in the agreement, especially after they know what they are agreeing to do. Someone can say “no” in the agreement too.

Framing consent this way can put into perspective how we have all been practicing consent our entire lives.

Have you ever asked a friend to hang out with you? Asked a colleague if you can eat lunch with them? Asked someone out on a coffee date? Indicated to someone you liked that you wanted to hold their hand or kiss them?

If you have said “yes” to any of these questions, then you have been practicing consent.

Continuing to seek someone’s consent and have other people respect your choices when it comes to consent, is the cornerstone of creating healthy, respectful relationships in our lives.

The CASASC education team has regular conversations in our Central Alberta community about consent and healthy relationships. To learn more about these conversations and opportunities, you can reach out to the team at education@casasc.ca.

What is involved with consent?

Consent can start with a simple “yes” or “no” question. Consent can involve letting someone know all of their options when it comes to settings in the medical field, higher education or the workplace.

We have consent in our friendships, within our families and with our dating partners. From high fives, to hugs, and all the way up to and including all forms of sexual activity, we need to practice and be receptive to consent.

But how do we get consent? How do we know we are receiving the right signals for consent? And do we have to be crystal clear every time we ask for consent?

When asking for consent, there needs to be the following considerations:

  1. How well do you know this person? Is it your first time meeting them, or have you known them a long time? What sort of relationship do you have with them? Do you know what sort of activities they are comfortable with?
  2. How does the other person express a “yes” or “no” with their words or actions? Can you yourself recognize them?
  3. Does the person you are asking know all of what they are agreeing to?
  4. Is the person you are asking consent from in an alert, sober, conscious and sane state of mind to understand what you are asking of them?

When we reflect on our relationships with other people, and the sort of agreements we have with them because of our relationship to them, we can better understand how asking for and receiving consent will work with them.

Consent- Easy as FRIES and OYMY

Consent needs to be enthusiastic, specific and informed. It also needs to be reversible—someone can say “yes” but can say “no” later if they change their mind—and freely given. We do not force someone to say “yes.” Rearranging these words can give us the term FRIES, an easy way to remember the parts of consent.

Another way to remember consent is with the term “Only Yes Means Yes.” CASASC has adapted this term into a series of posters under the “Only Yes Means Yes (OYMY)” campaign. More information on the campaign can be found here: https://casasc.ca/only-yes-means-yes-when-it-comes-to-consent/. If you are interested in posters for your business or organization, you can reach out to CASASC’s EDU Team at education@casasc.ca.

Consent is an everyday practise and can be a way to honor and show respect and safety in our relationships and community.

Kailee Burkinshaw is a prevention educator with the Central Alberta Sexual Assault Support Centre.

Have a “hot” consent summer

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By Sarah Maetche

Summer is finally here. It’s time to come out of our dormant Alberta spring/winter shells and have a hot consent summer.

Like Megan the Stallion said about “hot girl summer,” we can enjoy this summer feeling confident in who we are, have fun and practice consent while doing it.

Coming out of our post-COVID reality, many are ready to get back to the things they enjoy – like hitting the beach, patios, going to social events, backyard barbeques, camping, rodeos and outdoor sporting events – especially during the summer months.

The Central Alberta Sexual Assault Support Centre (CASASC) encourages you to be mindful as you go about these and many more social activities with the phrase “only yes means yes” when it comes to consent in your mind.

This is the idea behind CASASC’s campaign Only Yes Means Yes (OYMY) – speaking positively about consent to change our community for the better.

Consent is an important concept in sexual violence prevention. OYMY focuses on what positive consent can sound and look like as a way to promote healthy relationships and increase a greater sense of consent culture. OYMY changes the way we look at and understand consent.

Many of us may be familiar with the saying “no means no.” This is a frequently used statement when talking about consent. This statement indicates that we are always saying “yes” until we say the word or indicate “no,” which is a lack of consent. This statement tells people that unless they indicated “no,” that was clear and understood by both involved individuals, they were giving consent.

With OYMY, we have turned the above “no” conversation on its’ head. This campaign challenges the consent conversation by reinforcing that an individual is always conveying a lack of consent (always saying “no”). The default for consent then is “no.”

It’s literally a “no” until they say “yes” with their words, their actions or with their body. Consent can only happen when a person actively and consciously says “yes” and gives/shows their consent.

Consent can be simply defined as this: a voluntary agreement between people who want to do something together. Yes, this of course applies to sexual activity, but it also applies to our everyday lives, with things like driving down Lakeshore Drive in Sylvan Lake, lining up to get ice cream at the Little Ice Cream and Soda Shoppe, attending a staff backyard party and on. When defined like this, consent applies to everyday life.

Consent is given freely. It’s chosen and ongoing.

This is why we all should aim to have a hot consent summer. Showing and saying an enthusiastic “yes” is letting that other person know that you are interested in the summer activity.

Here’s an easy way, or rather process, to give consent: 1) Know how to ask for consent. Your words matter, 2) Saying and/or showing a “yes” or “no” for yourself, 3) Hearing and/or seeing if the other person is saying “yes” or “no” and 4) Recognizing and respecting the other person’s yes or no. That’s the process – knowing, saying, hearing, recognizing and then respecting.

Sarah Maetche is the communications and administration manager at the Central Alberta Sexual Assault Support Centre.

Article as published in the Red Deer Advocate on July 7, 2022.

Only Yes Means Yes when it comes to consent

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The Central Alberta Sexual Assault Support Centre (CASASC) is excited to officially launch the Only Yes Means Yes (OYMY) campaign.

The education, community relations and communications teams have collaborated to create this ongoing poster and awareness campaign around positive consent conversations.

The OYMY campaign challenges our consent conversations by reinforcing that our bodies are always conveying a lack of consent (always saying “no”) and that consent can only happen when a person actively and consciously says “yes” and gives or shows their consent.

Through three simple, relatable posters, CASASC is showing central Albertans what consent can sound and look like, prompting adults to ask the question “Did I get a yes?” and showing what that “yes” can be.

Consent is an important concept in sexual violence prevention. Speaking positively about consent can change our community for the better. OYMY focuses on what positive consent can sound and look like as a way to promote healthy relationships and increase a greater sense of consent culture.

These posters are geared for adult audiences who visit public spaces like bars, restaurants, medical clinics, services agencies and many more. We are asking workplaces to place posters in their staff rooms and places where clients/customers may gather like bathrooms, tables, bulletin boards and gathering spaces in our communities.

We have also developed a FAQ for the campaign that can be used to promote the campaign in the communities we serve.

Over the summer months, OYMY was soft launched into the central Alberta community. Our education team visited over 19 central Alberta communities to have in-person conversations with organizations and business to bring awareness of our services and to share the campaign and posters.